


24 Months of So-Called Love

by changkihyuns



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:38:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changkihyuns/pseuds/changkihyuns
Summary: When they started dating, Yeonjun and Soobin got to know more about each other, until months later, they did not realize they did not know each other and themselves anymore.





	24 Months of So-Called Love

**Author's Note:**

> there are mention of drinking, making out, and cheating so pls be warned

In the first month Yeonjun and Soobin got together, they never actually knew if they loved each other.

 

They were both juniors when they started dating. All they knew was that they liked the other's antics. They liked being together. They were the only ones who can understand each other and console their feelings when they were feeling down or overwhelmed.

 

It didn't matter if they loved each other.

 

On the third month they were together, they figured it out, but they never spoke about it.

 

Yeonjun would do sweeter gestures than Soobin got used to. Soobin would be more expressive and showy with his affection even though their friends are around.

 

Soobin did not like displaying affection on front of other people.

 

That said a lot.

 

They would go on more dates, more deep talks at night, more spontaneous hang outs, and more experiences that they never explored before as best friends.

 

Now, they were itching to speak up.

 

On the fourth month, Soobin was the one who spoke up first.

 

He did it out of the strong feeling in his stomach. It was lunch that time on the rooftop, but they were barely eating. The sun was not that bright, considering that it was autumn season already. Then, Soobin spoke up. "Do you love me?"

 

There was silence. Dead air.

 

"Because, Yeonjun, I do," he continued.

 

He heard a sigh of relief. "Of course, I do. Stupid," followed by an airy laugh.

 

They were fine. They were happy. So Soobin did what he wanted to do for so long.

 

He kissed Yeonjun.

 

On the seventh month they were together, they have already did many of their "firsts"—first kiss, first make out, first night drive, first out-of-town, first in-house date, and many more.

 

They also kind of already did the first alcoholic drink and first drunk night out together.

 

It was a random school night—a really bad decision to drink at a school night. They were young, stupid teenagers and they were spontaneous like that. 

 

So they had a one-versus-one drinking session at Yeonjun's place. Yeonjun's parents were usually not home because of some odd job. They took this as a chance to check something off their "firsts" bucket list.

 

Yeonjun had some experience with drinking, given that some of his relatives invited him to drink already. But Soobin did not. So he followed Yeonjun and kept drinking until he can't anymore.

 

They were both drunk. They were already making out at the sofa for twenty minutes already. Then they passed out.

 

The next day, they did not make it to school until lunch time. Another check on their bucket list.

 

On their twelfth month they were together, everyone who knew one of them basically know their partner. They were the perfect pair, according to some people in school. They looked good together. They complemented each other's personalities. They were the senior couple that everyone looked up to.

 

They usually don't celebrate their monthsaries. Usually, they would just settle for a small date or a hangout. So for their anniversary, Yeonjun went extravagant.

 

With the help of some friends, a surprise was waiting for him at Yeonjun's place after school. One by one, they handed him red tulips. As he reached the backyard, Yeonjun was waiting for him beside a table for two, holding up a bouquet of red roses, accented with white lilies and pink carnations. It was sweet. Yeonjun probably did some research on what these flowers might mean.

 

"Happy twelve months, babe," Yeonjun said while giving Soobin the bouquet of flowers. Soobin reached out for the flowers and hugged Yeonjun tightly after. He was happy. So happy, at the moment.

 

On the sixteentj month they were together, a lot has already changed.

 

Somehow, they managed to graduate high school without much stress. But, now that they're in college, everything seemed to be ten times harder.

 

They were in a long distance relationship. Yeonjun chose study at a well-known university for medicine that was miles and miles away from their city while Soobin opted to stay nearby. He did not want to burden his parents too much so he studied at a state university and applied for a job to lessen the bills that his parents had to pay for his education.

 

Luckily, both of them were understanding. They meet once a week. And a week turned into weeks, until they only met once a month.

 

Yeonjun was a busy person. Soobin understood this. He knew he had no time for his friends either. Even for himself, so he opted to just keep on sending messages to Yeonjun even though he knew Yeonjun was going to read this a few hours later, when he was already asleep.

 

On their twentieth month, Yeonjun miraculously got more time. He went home to their city, and told Soobin stories about how people were so different there, and that he missed staying in their city. They both became more mature. They already have different outlooks in life, and they both somehow always agree to disagree.

 

Yeonjun told him that his friends at the university wanted to meet him. Soobin did not know how to feel about this. He was not really keen on meeting new people that much. So he just nodded and smiled. "They sound sweet. I want to meet them, too," he lied.

 

It was not a total lie. He wanted to meet them, but the idea of it was draining him already. So he prayed that it was just nothing but an idea.

 

It was not.

 

On the middle of their twenty-first month, Yeonjun was out on a party and decided to facetime Soobin out of nowhere. "Hey! My friends really wanted to meet you. A party only happens once in a blue moon here so I decided to hit two birds with one stone! I can talk to you and my friends can meet you!"

 

The delight was so obvious in Yeonjun's voice that he could not help but agree. He was bombarded with greetings from people he did not know, names and faces that he knew he would never remember, and a series of praises from other (who are mostly girls) that he looks cute and that Yeonjun keeps on telling them about him.

 

It sounded sweet. Soobin suddenly felt warm inside. He reciprocated the greetings and smiles. But he was still tired.

 

After the call, he was drained. He got so tired that he cried himself to sleep.

 

A few months before this, problems kept on coming to him. Of course, he tried to tell these to Yeonjun, hoping that he would listen, but Yeonjun was also tired. Soobin understood this. Yeonjun would usually cut the conversation early as he had to finish some papers or he had to study for some practicals the next day.

 

Of course, Soobin understood.

 

So he opted to keep everything to himself. He thought he was a big distraction and nothing but a burden, not only to Yeonjun, but also to his friends.

 

He kept everything to himself.

 

Slowly, he became distant.

 

On their twenty-third month, Soobin could not keep it anymore.

 

He called his friend—Jihoon, and asked if he would like to drink. They did not necessarily drink at some fancy place, choosing to drink somewhere private since they were both broke college students and they both wanted a peaceful drinking session.

 

Jihoon asked if he could bring his boyfriend, Woojin, and another friend, Beomgyu. Soobin just agreed, not minding other people, but focusing on the fact that he wanted get shit faced and just forget—even for just a night.

 

Well, he kind of did forget. He forgot his student loans. He forgot his family problems. He forgot he had a boyfriend. He forgot about Yeonjun while he was kissing Beomgyu. He forgot that he was not supposed to kiss another man.

 

He fucked up. Big time.

 

Jihoon and Woojin tried to console him the next morning, saying that he should just pay back, do better things without saying anything to Yeonjun. After all, no feelings were involved. It was because of alcohol intoxication. Nothing more.

 

He talked about it with Beomgyu. "Nothing is going out from this room about what happened last night."

 

They were both drunk last night. Turns out, Beomgyu also had a boyfriend. Things were not going well. They both fucked up.

 

On their twenty-fourth month, on their second anniversary, Soobin really tried to become sweet, even sweeter than before.

 

But everything reminded him of his mistake. Or so he would call, his "mortal sin."

 

He knew Yeonjun would not like it. Of course, he would hate it. So before everything else, he hated himself for doing it. He hated every inch of his being for even doing that.

 

He closed himself from everything. He did not know who he is anymore. He was just a robot, manufactured and programmed to do as what he was told to, to do what he was assigned to.

 

On their twenty-fourth month, he knew he did not love Yeonjun anymore.

 

He kept up with the lie. He kept on saying he still loved Yeonjun. He felt empty. He was a big, nasty liar. That was what he is.

 

On their twenty-sixth month, Yeonjun went home for a short break from university.

 

He said he missed Soobin so much. He did not want to continue studying at that stupid damn medicine university. He was so tired.

 

Soobin did not realize this before. He was not the only one dealing with things. He was not the only one battling with their own thoughts.

 

He knew Yeonjun was an overthinker. That was why he achieved many things in life. He was afraid of others' opinions. He was afraid that it was not enough. So he worked harder.

 

Soobin was so, so stupid. He was so selfish.

 

But he was blind. He realized it too late.

 

And before he knew what effect it would do to Yeonjun, he broke up with him already.

 

Of course, Yeonjun was surprised. He asked what was wrong. Did he do something? Was it because he was not home every two months? Was it because he would reply to him hours after he sent him the messages?

 

He apologized for everything. He cried because he thought it was his fault. But it was Soobin's.

 

So he said it.

 

"I cheated on you."

 

It was not entirely true. But it would suffice. It would end everything already. They were both suffering. It was suffocating.

 

"With who?" 

 

He did not want to talk anymore.

 

"Is it necessary to know who it was? Will it change the fact that I cheated on you?"

 

His voice cracked. His facade was broken. No, it couldn't be. He couldn't cry now.

 

"Binnie. That's not true. I know you wouldn't be able to do it. Please, tell me you didn't."

 

"But I did."

 

The room was filled with loud sobs from both of them.

 

"Fucking hell. I trusted you!"

 

"Well, you trusted the wrong person."

 

"Two fucking years, Soobin! Two. Fucking. Years! Was it all just nonsense for you?!"

 

Soobin closed his eyes. He knew this would happen. But it was for the best. So he accepted everything.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm leaving."

 

With that, he took his belongings and went out of the house, not looking back.

 

_ It was good twenty-four months with you, Yeonjun. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry. _

**Author's Note:**

> i am in no way romanticizing cheating. it was just a pure work of imagination. thank you for reading this pure work of bullshit. have a nice day.
> 
> ps. do not be like soobin in this fic. drink responsibly.


End file.
